Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Parenting and growing up

It was 12:55pm yesterday as I drove to SMK Bandar Sibu to pick up my second son from school. It was a routine job for me although many would say that we pamper our kids too much nowadays as the school is only a 10-15 minutes walk away from home. Today’s experience reinforced our believe that what we did all these while was well worth it. We shall continue to do so in the near future!

What happened? My wife saw a young boy walking under the hot sun and he was wavering and stumbling along the way and looked like he was going to collapse anytime. She stopped me and told me whether the boy looks alright. I took a good look at the boy andI felt that his conditions warrant my assistance. I parked my vehicle and walked across the road divider to examine him. He looked pale and visibly shaken as I approached him but told me that he is “ok”!

I told him that he is not “ok” and offered to give him a lift. He told me that he has gotten use to it already (我已经习惯了)。I wonder what he meant by that, so I probed further. He got a bit uncomfortable and refused my help. I was wondering whether I should let it go but my conscience told me that I have to do something about it. He then told me that he can not accept my help because he was not sure of my intention. I told him that my kids are his schoolmates and there is no reason why he can’t trust me. I even told him about my kids’ names to put him at ease.

Before we came to an agreement, a pick-up truck stopped by us and the boy entered the vehicle. I opened the door and saw the woman driver who was visibly disturbed by my probing. She asked me what was wrong and I introduced myself and told her what happened, She asked me “Is he not feeling well?” and then turned to the boy to ask the same question which he did not reply. She sounded annoyed as if the kid is causing unnecessary trouble or wny this stranger is probing so much.

I walked back to my vehicle and told my wife the whole thing and she agreed that there something isn’t quite right. First, there is the question of why the boy was walking home if the mother is picking him up in the first place? Secondly, why didn’t he just tell me that his mother will pick him up? Thirdly, he said he lives in Rejang Park which is at least 1.5 km away and was he telling me that he used to walk home by foot? Fourthly, why was he so suspicious of my assistance, I am sure I do not look like a rogue. Lastly,why was he pretending that he is fine when he couldn’t even walk straight?

Never mind the above, I did what I have to do and I am sure many of us would have done the same. I put this on the blog to tell the parents out there that there might be a lot about our kids that we do not know as they might not tell us everything. We need to spend time with them and pay more attention to them as we do not want to regret latter on. Our kids deserve our attention and love which can not be compensated by any other means. Parenting is never easy but so is growing up for the kids!

2 comments:

Wong Ho Leng said...

I had wanted to post a comment some time ago. When you see a student in that condition, looking pale and ill, it is natural to offer help, but that offer can be mistaken as an intended criminal act. This is because people do not trust people any more, the result of high crime rates everywhere.

The best help in that circumstances is to lend the student your phone. Ask him to call whoever is coming to fetch him. Of course, if you see that he is not well, advise him not to walk further, that it is dangerous etc. The lousiest help offer is to tell him to climb into your car, even if your wife is in there. You may be accused of "hijacking" this boy. You may land in the police station. Good Samaritan may be bad Samaritans!

I have a little experience to share. A boy was waiting outside SMK Methodist gate, long after the school hours. Ya, he must be a form 1 or form 2 guy, cos he studied afternoon class. The sun was setting. I knew that this boy needed help. I introduced myself and offered to lend him my phone (guess why I did not call myself?) He had a little conversation, and returned my phone with a word of thanks. I wanted to wait, but he said his auntie was on her way. 15 minutes later, the auntie phoned. Politely addressing me as YB, she said that she forgot to pick the boy. I was dumb founded why she knew my name. Only then, I recalled that I had introduced myself as WONG HO LENG. It looked like the boy remembers my name.

I had other similar experiences. Lend your phone! Smile! Stay your distance! But be ready to help in any minute.

翱翔 said...

被说我狠心还是冷漠~~
因为我们的社会生病了,人不再信任任何人,有时候就连家人都不信任更何况是个陌生人?
如果今天我看见这种情形,我会当做没有发生过没有看见,虽然可能我会后悔我没有伸出援手,但是不能怪我无情。

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