A mother's sorrow

I received a call from someone i know requesting to meet in person so as to listen to her grievances. As always, whenever the other party is a woman i made it a point and actually a rule that i shall not entertain her without the presence of another, just to be careful and avoid any untoward incident. That afternoon, my wife was with me when i met her in a Muslim cafe as i felt that we would not be overheard in our conversation for the sake of the woman who told me that it was a family type of problem that she wanted to talk.

We (with my wife) were there first at the cafe before she walked in with a small girl. As they sat down opposite us, i had a better look at both of them. The mother was in her 40s with a sad and heavy physical dispositions obviously from a hard and harsh life. Her hands tell of those who makes a living off the farm or labor-intensive work. The small girl looks the age of 7-8 most with a slim and frail skeleton but innocent-looking big eyes.

I asked them to order a drink just to ease their uneasiness as it must be so when one has to tell of her family problem to an outsider. The woman then thanked us for being there to listen which we politely brushed aside. She told us that the small girl is her youngest daughter and is helping her now because of the school holiday. She is running a mee stalk in one of the coffee shops in town and she doesn't employ anyone as the business is bad and she can't afford an assistant. To make ends meet she also help people to clear land for farming in th elate afternoon.

Then she told us of her real motive to meet, it was to seek the advise as what to do with her second daughter. "What should i do? Send her to the correction center or just treated her as non-existence?"she asked. She was crying then as she told us of the unfortunate family problem with a none committed husband who brought woman back to home and physically abused her and her financial problem in keeping with a daughter in local U and a young 8 years old. But to her sorrow, it was her second daughter who have left her who came back demanding RM65,000 to settle her debt to the loan shark!

"I don't have any money left as i have smashed my youngest daughter piggy bank to pay for my second daughter's debt" she wiped her tears away with her swollen hand as she told us of the heart wrenching story of how she paid some RM1700 plus to settle her daughter's debt. She continued " when i smashed my youngest daughter's piggy bank, i smashed out all the hope left of this family, my own hope and my youngest daughter's as well."
She told us that the 2ND daughter have not come back at all, not even for the Chinese New Year, for the past 3 years although she is in Sibu. The only time when she calls it was always about borrowing money from the mother. One time she called her mother to demand some money for lunch and the mother sent to her all she has left, RM30, and know what she told the mother "Is that all, RM30?" Not knowing to the young girl, her mother told us that on that day, she and her youngest daughter have not eaten themselves as the coffee shop that her stalk opens was closed for almost a week for reason which i didn't even bothered to listen.This time it was a RM65,000 debt that she wanted her mother to pay!

She further told us that because of her family problems lately, her head was so screw-up that on her way back one day, her motorbike was knocked down by a dog and she was hospitalised for a week. She said in her husky voice "what actually hurt was i survive! It would be better if i didn't."

Coming back to the question "what should I do?" I told her that she should just treat her as non-existence and just put her hope on the eldest daughter who should finish her study by next year and raising the youngest one. I told her not to pay a single sen to the loan shark and report to the police if she be harrased by them.

There wasn't any solution when it comes to family's problem. A dishonest husband who abandoned his family with a ungrateful daughter who keep on coming back for money from an uneducated and broke mother and a young 8 years old to raise, what a life that was!

Of course, my wife did offer her our token help which was out of context here to mention. But for us, me and my wife, maybe the encounter offered some sort of reminder that the family value is the key to educate our own children and we did tell our kids about the poor and sorrowful mother and her unfortunate fate.

P/s A mother's sorrow was chosen as the title because that was what hurt the poor woman most as she told us as we walked out of the cafe that she has treated her husband as "dead" already and she just hope that she can bring up her youngest daughter to adulthood before she breathes her last breath.

David Wong
November 2008